His Joy Is My Strength

Today my grandmother died.  The last time I spoke to her, we read scripture and she talked about Heaven.  It made me think of that kid’s song from Psalty (remember him?), “Heaven is a Wonderful Place”.  The song is very cheerful and fun to sing, and that’s how the conversation felt.  Her face would light up whenever she talked about it.  We read from the book of Psalms and Philippians and sang old hymns and worship songs from when I was a little girl.  Time literally flew by.  I guess that’s how I remember the day.  Fast and joyful.  But today was altogether different because time seemed to stand still, everything felt jumbled and while we sometimes laughed while remembering her antics or just relieving some tension, I don’t remember feeling any joy.  It was gray and sometimes dark and it was full of sorrow.  My heart ached for my mother when I saw her grieving and that completely overwhelmed me.  It was painful to watch.  She loved her mother with all her heart and the loss ran much deeper for her.  Grief had settled in and we all cried a lot today.  So, no – I didn’t see any joy.

But now I sit here and remember that God promised that His joy is our strength.  At first that seemed off to me because it’s hard to draw strength from something you don’t seem to have.  But then I realized that the joy of the Lord comes from who He is.  Who He is never changes – and His promises to us are to be believed.  The poem “Footprints” really does create a picture of who God is.  He doesn’t promise that we won’t grieve or feel pain, but He does promise that He will be there with us through it all.

I could see evidence of God’s presence and influence as I reflected on the day.  His provision for a spanish speaking pastor to communicate with Guatemala to get a message to my dad, who is ministering there this week.  My sister-in-law, who is almost 9 months pregnant, being there for all of us tirelessly.  Her parents, who came like the cavalry and brought dinner for us when food was the last thing on our minds.  The pastors who came to visit us and comfort us, speaking words to us that we needed to hear.  The nurses and staff who were kind and caring beyond belief.  The family and friends who reached out to us.  All of this was God’s provision – He placed these people in our lives for this very day and others to come.  And then I think about my grandmother.

Right now she is experiencing joy that knows no bounds.  She has been made perfect.  Her body here on this earth couldn’t last, but her soul is in eternity with God.  She is seeing things right now that I can’t even imagine in my small mind.  She is hearing the voice of God and she’s being loved and embraced by Him.  My grandmother has at last received the gift of communion with God in a way we don’t know yet.

The most amazing part of all this?  None of us, including my grandmother, really deserve that.  We all do and say things that hurt others.  We all screw up and find ourselves needing not just forgiveness, but grace and mercy.  But God sent His Son, Jesus, to die here on earth to take the burden of those sins.  It wasn’t just a piece of history – it changed our history.  It changed my story and it changes yours.  It changed my grandmother’s too.  Because of Jesus, and His willingness to put Himself in our place, we can experience communion with Him not just here on earth, but in Heaven, face to face, no longer separated by sin. 

So today, while I think about my grandmother’s life, I can also see the example she is of God’s desire to be with us.  He created us, He loves us beyond measure and He has made a way for us.  So there is my joy, and there is my strength.  God never left our sides today.  He knows we are hurting and that will be true for a time.  We will each feel this loss in our own way.  But God’s joy is everlasting and isn’t threatened by loss and pain.  God’s joy doesn’t become distorted just because we haven’t embraced it yet.  The joy of the Lord can be drawn upon as a constant no matter what life throws our way, no matter what forgiveness we need.  We need only ask.

As we move forward to make arrangements for the funeral, I’m sure there will be more tears.  She will be missed.  But one of the pastors visiting today said it perfectly when he quoted 1 Thessalonians 4:13, where Paul tells us not to ignore the reality of death, but also not to grieve like those who have no hope.  We have hope.  We have joy.  And they are both found in Jesus.