Standing in the Gap for Your Husband

 

These last two Sundays, my pastor has been preaching on spiritual warfare, so don’t think for a second that I have been individually inspired to share these things. My words today come from inspired teaching and I thank God for a pastor and his wife who are consistently obedient to God in sharing what He asks them to share – and usually from within the battle themselves. 

My battle has been mine and instead of seeing what was happening in my home for what it was, I was engaging in warfare for myself instead of for the man who is called to be my husband, leader and best friend. We are supposed to be one – and this last week we’ve been two bleak halves.

Our relationship was never what some would call top notch – we had arguing down to a science from almost the beginning.  So why did we get married?  Because even though we both have a temper, we couldn’t escape the fact that we loved each other very much and saw a lot of beautiful things in each other.  From my husband I have learned extreme patience and perseverance – this is where he is strongest and I am weakest.  From me he has learned about friendship and generosity, as these are my strengths.  But our problems with each other over the years have stemmed from our own shortcomings.  He and I have both struggled with low self esteem, but when I saw how deep his went, I was convinced that I could love it out of him.  I was convinced that a strong woman who knew the value of friendship and loving someone right where they’re at could change him.  How awesomely arrogant of me.  Only God can change my husband and open his eyes to the man of God he can be.  But in all this – I have been praying for myself.  Yes, I pray for my husband, but not like I should be.

This last week, our home has been attacked in unthinkable ways – things I was not prepared for but should have been.  Prior to this, we have had an amazing and renewed relationship for the last several months.  We have communicated properly, we have enjoyed each other’s company and we have laughed ourselves silly.  Friendship and intimacy were blooming in our relationship.  So what did I do?  I got comfortable in it – and waaay over confident.  I stopped preparing myself for Satan’s attack.  Then it happened.

Now either my pastor is prophetically being used of God to warn us of times to come – or he has an extremely strong power of suggestion.  I choose to believe the former because last Sunday I thought I was ready to see the enemy for who he was.  But the enemy of God is tricky, sneaky and downright slimy.  He knows us better than we realize he does – and while I don’t like to give Satan any kind of boost, we would be downright foolish to ignore his intelligence and methods.  After months of pure bliss – even our disagreements were normal and well handled – we fought every single day this last week.  I was angry with him for something he’d not done and he was angry with me for being angry with him.  Every. Single. Day.

Didn’t I just hear a sermon on spiritual warfare?  Didn’t I know that Satan will attack us with the intention of isolating us?  Yeah, I thought I did.  But Satan isolated us from each other.  Then a neighbor woman, who came under the guise of friendship, ended up spending the entire evening with my husband on the last night of arguing.  She has repeatedly made it clear to me her intentions – no she hasn’t come out and said it, but two other women have addressed the same concerns for her designs on my husband.  Now I trust my husband, and know that his intentions are not to cheat on me, but I’m a woman and I know how we think – and flirt.  Everytime I see this woman I get alarm bells going off in my head that are so loud I might be able to blame my migraines on them.  Understand that it was not his intention to spend the evening with her alone, and I won’t magnify the details of how it happened.  And my husband was faithful to me as I knew he would - but, I’m sorry guys, you just don’t always see it when a woman’s got their eyes on you.  But I saw it. 

So today, pastor continued with the sermon on warfare and FINALLY I was able to see this past week for what it was.  Satan does NOT want us in church.  He does not want us in ministry.  He does not want us reading God’s word or living a victorious life.  He does not want our marriages to blossom.  He doesn’t want our relationships to glorify God.  And the closer we get to God the harder he attacks.  I liked what my pastor said – if you are not being attacked by Satan, then you might have some problems.  I totally see the wisdom in this.  If I’m not giving Satan a reason to quake in his pointed shoes I’m not living the right way.

So all through the sermon I was getting poked and prodded – and poked some more.  The Holy Spirit was opening my eyes to what I was facing this past week – and what I will continue to face if I don’t start attacking the real issue – God’s enemy is MY enemy.  And my enemy, Satan, is the one I need to be fighting, not my husband.  But what do I do?  NOT confront my husband on his shortcomings?  NOT run to this woman’s house and give her what for and more? 

But this morning, my pastor’s wife answered my question plain and simple.  Pray for him.  She knew that any attempts I made on my own to right this situation could only make it worse.  She told me that while it may sound wimpy to “just” pray, this is actually the greatest and most effective method of attack.

So my assignment this week – and every week for the rest of my natural life?  Stand in the gap for my husband.  Just as pastors, as the leaders of their congregation, will be under greater attack in Satan’s attempt to reduce or eliminate the effectiveness of their ministry, so is the same for my husband – and yours.  Our husbands are called to be the spiritual head of the household – and if Satan can bring them down and fill their head with lies of worthlessness he can take the whole house with it.  If our husbands are not walking in this calling – or even if they are – our greatest gift to them as wives is to engage in warfare for them.

If Satan is going to attack my husband – and he will – he’s gonna have to get through me first.